Memorial Monday

So, remember when I promised you pictures from the Medal Ceremony? I kind of kept putting it off because these things are never easy to write. The Medal Ceremony got pushed back further than we originally thought. Instead of the 16th it got pushed to 30th. It was sad (of course). But a different sad than last year. Last year, it was still so fresh. This year, however, I was anxious. When it began, they told us that they would be doing things a bit differently this year than in previous years. So, as we sat there listening to names of people who had been donors in 2014 I began wondering if they would even mention Scarlett. Eric and I kept looking at each other.

This told me he was wondering the same thing.

I shed some tears for some of the families. There were a few families that had lost babies like us. I felt urge to go up to them afterward. But I didn’t. They looked so sad. Seemed odd to try to bond with a family when they were sad like that. So I didn’t.

Looking back, my first time at the ceremony (I had not yet attended a group support meeting) I wished someone would come up to me. I wish I would have had a connection with another mother sooner.

I wish I had talked to that mother that night.

Before we went to the ceremony, we made a stop a Cooks Children’s Hospital. We had been notified that the new plaques had been installed and Scarlett’s name had been added. The Pastoral Care at Cooks Children’s Hospital is phenomenal. They always are quick to find an answer for me and they sent me pictures of the plaques before we could make a trip to come see them. I was not prepared, however, for the beauty of these plaques at night.

We had a feeling that they might light up at night because there are small boxes below them, and I remembered from when we were there with Scarlett that the building itself actually lights up. I remember thinking what a happy looking building. Its weird the things that you remember.

I got lots of pictures of all the colors from every angle I could.  Here are a couple!

Looking forward to Monday?

I am looking forward to Monday.

I can’t believe that I am actually able to type that sentence without shuddering. If the weather doesn’t get too bad, we plan to go to the annual Life Gift Donor Medal Ceremony. Donor-Medal-Ceremony


Since Scarlett was honored last year, we have already received our medal. They will still honor her memory and she will still be included in the ceremony. This also gives me a chance to honor the other families and memories of their loved ones. Should the weather get bad, Life Gift said they would reschedule this ceremony.

In addition to the medal ceremony, we finally received notice that Scarlett’s name was added to the Walk of Honor at Cooks Children’s Hospital. We haven’t been able to see it yet, but Michael Downs (the Chaplain there) was kind enough to email me these photos. If they don’t reschedule the ceremony, we plan on going to see this as well.

I’m sure this day will be super exhausting and stressful, but I will honor her memory in any way I can.

Thanks for reading!

Molly Bear

Now starts the long grueling wait for a Molly Bear. It’s been almost 15 months since we lost Scarlett and I have wavered whether or not to get a Molly Bear. This month I decided as a birthday present to myself I would. They only open the wait list up for 1 day (on the 30th) and only take the 200 entries. So I set my alarm and waited for 10 EST.
For those not familiar with Molly Bears, they are a non profit organization that makes teddy bears that weigh the same amount as your baby. The current wait time is about 4 months, but I’ve read that it has taken some moms as long as 15 months to receive their bear.